10.03.2010

NYC, before I really forget... (2010





don't know where I'll be for the next while...so this captures my last excursion to New York, post-Korea.

__________________________


Daft Punk "Da Funk"
Nouveaunoise "Japan"
Gilles Peterson "Why Can't There Be Love"
Prefuse 73 "Styles That Fade Away With a C"
Caribou "Bowls"
The Ruby Suns "Closet Astrologer"
Philip Glass "Channels and Winds"
Madvillain "Fancy Clown"
Daedelus "Succumbing To"

7.09.2010

Day 3: A song that reminds you of someone

SO.  I'm going to bend the rules a little on this one and extend it to several songs that remind me of several certain someones. 

**Please note I've excluded all those I'm in daily contact with: all you Korea ppl.  That you are not on this list does not mean you are not worthy of being on it (quite the opposite.)  Also, for those of you that are in the States and feel jipped for not being on here: we need to listen to more music together!  I couldn't think of a song for you...

Also, I really could just be talking to myself at this point.  Not sure of who really reads this thing.  Except for you Brandon-- you comment on everything! 



You know who you are.

You will forever be the closest person to me.  Even when we are squabbling about knitting needles in the Old Lady's Home for Frisky Feminists we'll be living in...even then. 



You know who you are.

<3



You know who you are.

Dive bar.  Homo hill.  The early days in Seoul.  Dancing to this.

Spacious 2.  Video projector on white quilt.  Christmas.  Sugar plums, sickly sweet wine and asian dust.  Dancing to this.

Kingston, Ontario.  Winter reunion in the western world.  Hopefully dancing to this.  ; )



You know who you are. 

I'm sorry. 



You know who you are.

Do you remember that Rasberry Beret album I got you?  Well...just listened to that song again-- and that is a bad song.  Seriously. 

Can you still do the Prince falsetto?  Cos I remember it being pretty spot-on.  I hope you're keeping it up. 

You are still the *only* person that's visited me in every locale I've lived in!  If anything, I'm glad I've given you the excuse to travel-- though it will take many years before I even half-way catch up to all the places you've been.  Something to aspire to...



You know who you are.

And for the final time, she was *not* flirting with you.

Still the wittiest person I know.  Also, cannot wait to see the new stacks of books in your apt. and the new disparaging comments about absolutely everyone...  ; )



You know who you are. 

Not the exact version, but good enough. 

I will forever be indebted to you and your apartment for helping me to finish my first script.  And indebted for helping me through some tough times in New York. 

Can't wait to go to Tom's again! 



You know who you are.

I know you're a Steve Earle die-hard, but...somehow it's always Townes that reminds me of you.

I met you on my first *ever* night in NYC. 

Aside from the big names that pass through, you are quite possibly my favorite comedian in New York.  Seriously. 

Also, you introduced me to the other Mr. J -- and even though he's a huge (huge) dork, he's one of my few film counterparts in the city.  We must get g&t's in September at La Negrita-- or I guess some snobby hipster bar now that you're in fancy Brooklyn. 



You know who you are.

While we haven't listened to this album together yet, you must be as in love with it as I am, considering you're the biggest Albarn fan around (aside from Ms. J, of course). 

You might also have the biggest (bleeding) heart of anyone I know.  ; )  I am continually inspired by your mere day-to-today and cannot *wait* to visit all those weird (but of course, enlightening and awesome) one-off events we go to. 

Til then...

----

7.07.2010

A song that makes me sad



I wish I had some gutting words to prop this post up a bit...but I'm feeling rather wordless at the moment.

Suffice it to say, this song really does make me sad...

7.01.2010

Day 1: A Song That Makes Me Happy



I remember walking around Harlem late last June, aghast at the heaviness in the air-- as if it was the second coming of JFK's assassination.  The news of Michael Jackson's death had spread earlier in the day and already the scaffolding around The Apollo was covered with in memoriam posters of the great, newly deceased, MJ. 

A couple days later on my way home from work, I was coming up on the 125th street stop and was pretty sure I was witnessing a resurrected MJ dancing to "Bad" on the platform.  Present: red leather jacket, the one silver glove, fresh white socks, shiny black shoes, aviator glasses... I figured out it wasn't really him after he tipped his glasses and winked after I dropped a dollar into the hat next to him (though, as I remember, MJ was pretty well off and more or less agoraphobic, so those were clues as well). 



West Harlem that day was a glittering spectacle of all things Michael Jackson.  Rollicking masses of people moving past booth after booth of MJ paraphenalia: t-shirts, jewelry, pictures, posters, dvds, cds, fake tattoos...  And then there was the Wailing Wall. 

Rather, shoddy white paper slapped onto the scaffolding and corkboard walls surrounding The Apollo where people could leave their last words to the late and great. 



-----
Went to an MJ dance party this past weekend in Seoul.  Along with the obvious choices of songs like "Thriller" , "Beat It" and "Rock With Me" -- they also played some Jackson 5, which was a particular treat, having not actively listened to them in quite some time.  And it made me happy. 

And so-- Day 1: A Song That Makes You Happy:   The Jackson 5: "I Want You Back"

25 days o' music.

So in the hopes of being a bit more regular with this blog -- I'll be doing my best to keep up with the below 30 days of music list (which I found on this awesome guy's music blog.) Except I'll be cutting out all days with 'favorite' in the title as there's no way I can choose my favorite anything. It will be 25 days in that case.

**************************************************

day 01 – your favorite song

day 02 – your least favorite song

day 03 – a song that makes you happy

day 04 – a song that makes you sad

day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone

day 06 – a song that reminds of you of somewhere

day 07 – a song that reminds you of a certain event

day 08 – a song that you know all the words to

day 09 – a song that you can dance to

day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep

day 11 – a song from your favorite band

day 12 – a song from a band you hate

day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure

day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love

day 15 – a song that describes you

day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate

day 17 – a song that you hear often on the radio

day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio

day 19 – a song from your favorite album

day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry

day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy

day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad

day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding

day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral

day 25 – a song that makes you laugh

day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument

day 27 – a song that you wish you could play

day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty

day 29 – a song from your childhood

day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year

6.16.2010

Ms. Kim

Serviceman #1 (S#1), short and rotund, severe sweet tooth, had declared himself the “bossman” of serviceman #2 (S#2), tall and skeletal, who was doing all the heavy work in replacing the heating system in my apartment. S#1 then told me about his wife (all this translated through my head teacher, Ms. Kim, who was seated on my bed) and how they’re both the same age and how she was a student at the school I teach at and isn’t that great. He then took a handful of the butterscotch candies that I’d been using for decoration for the past six months (large hands). He undid the wrapping so meticulously it was as though he was giving each candy a tiny funeral before shoving them into his mouth and ultimately, to their death. S#2 was all business and thank God, otherwise I’d have been stuck chatting awkwardly on my bed with the head teacher for more than the 2 hours it ended up taking.


Ms. Kim is nice though. Her English is a bit halting, but she seems comfortable with this and isn’t as afraid to make mistakes as most of the other English teachers are. She’s a bit older, married, two teenaged children. Sometimes she will talk about her husband at lunch and will be surprisingly familiar with me. Her disclosure is heartening of course, but now I can understand what’s behind her eyes when she smiles and it doesn’t look quite right.

“Migook?” S#2 had finished and decided to take an interest in the strange foreign girl who’d been watching him swim around in the watery cesspool that was my kitchen yesterday. He was wearing my shower shoes.


Ms. Kim answered for me. “New York City!” S#2 brightened and pointed to his shirt, some (fake) faded print of that shot of John Lennon. I gave him a thumbs-up. He seemed happy with that.

On their way out S#1 pointed to the butterscotch candies and said “is ok?”. Of course it was ok, I said with my hands. For all their trouble (or rather, all of S#2’s trouble) I gave them the two ice cream cones I had in my freezer, making sure to hand them to S#2 so he’d have the choice. They said thank you in English and Korean and were gone down the stairs in two seconds flat.

There was still that watery cesspool to deal with and Ms. Kim had quickly taken it upon herself to clean up the mess for me. I felt a bit uncomfortable with this and told her so. She smiled a real smile and told me that there is a saying in Korean:

“AJUMMA IS STRONG.”

Not wanting to take away the glory of her sentiment, I backed down and watched her dirty her extremely nice cream slacks as she scooped up the mangy water and put it down the sinkhole. This took a good twenty minutes, during which time I studied the new ondol box, exceedingly easier than the old model and pretty with its purple background light. I hope the next tenant appreciates it.

6.13.2010

Older.

I’ve now been in Korea for close to 10 months. It was only until recently that I fantasized daily about leaving early, going back to New York, back to a place I could understand and love wholly if only for the capacity to understand it. That’s not to say that I’ve really tried to understand this place, more like willingly stood on the sidelines of each day, watching in perpetual disbelief of how things continue to confound me, this Korean world and my place within it…

But now as I reach that ticking clock period—these last two months or so—the reality of the American world that awaits me looms larger and larger. As does the unexpected presence of recent factors: the fact that I’ve finally realized that I do love my students and that I will miss them after all—meeting some lovely new people (like, really lovely) and firming friendships with people that have been here with me since the beginning. Not that I’m totally unfamiliar with drastically changing my surroundings, but this whole switching continents business is some pretty new stuff.

And admittedly, I am a bit…scared. WOAH—vulnerability!! (FYI: I get a free pass since I’m writing this on my birthday.) Excited to see all my American (and Canadian!) people of course, but still scared. NYC can eat you alive if you’re not looking and I’m afraid I’ll be so distracted with learning how to live in America again, re-learning the joys of rent and all that bothersome adult crap, re-learning how to be a broke college student, re-learning me, that one day as I’m walking around Central Park oblivious to everything except the trees, that some city official will come up behind me, tap me on the shoulder and sternly tell me that I didn’t pass the test and that I need to leave. Now.


So, there’s that.

“I’m 26 and unmarried. Now you know everything.” Eva Marie Saint in Hitchcock’s brilliant North By Northwest.




Today is my birthday. Never really know what to expect aside from feeling vaguely (or full-on) disappointed, but…this weekend was nice. Some moments more nice than others (like, amazingly nice), but all in all…I feel older. And now I have joined the ranks of Ms. Saint’s ice-queen character in the above-mentioned NXNW. 26 and unmarried. (Now you don’t know everything… rarely do I include my marital status when describing myself, really just on tax forms, but I guess I just like the line.)

Older, not as in God When Are the Wrinkles Coming older, but…older as in…feeling the accumulation of experience upon me. Looking back and feeling the weight/presence of that rainbow-like catalogue of experience in these last 26 years. I still don’t really know anything, but I do know where I’ve been, for better or worse. And even though I still approach things (even those things that I feel somewhat closer to thinking I know) with some degree of hesitation and anxiety, I’m still approaching them. Still willing to get hurt or get happy by them and I think that’s important.

And I realize that last bit sounded really self-helpy, but…oh well. Judge me if you will. I’m older now and I (think) I can take it.

5.06.2010

Creepy Children, Korea and Futureness

We were in the DVD Bang, had selected Memories of Murder. In the dark, settled. The movie begins. But then-- the creepy in-room phone screeches out an electronic version of Fur Elise, scaring us a little. “No English subtitles, sorry.” The man behind the desk gives us complimentary Vitamin C drinks. Back in the room after some internet research, now prepared for The Uninvited. We were hell-bent on watching a Korean Horror. The oft-repeated scary little-dead-girl-duo at the fore, giving way to a convoluted storyline, haphazard scary moments and consistent watch-checking by me. After what seemed like 5 hours spent in a black box, we emerged back onto the Hongdae scene, Sunday late evening. But you wouldn’t know it. Hordes of people out, are you sure it’s not really Saturday night, Alex? A: I don’t know, let’s go dancing.

Then we see it. The creepiest dangling baby – it (yes, “it” – too early to distinguish between she and he) was attached to its mother’s back – one of those baby backpacks Korean women use to cart around their little ones. It looked like it was practicing for tryouts for Baby Cirque de Soleil and it looked creepy as hell. Baby spines shouldn’t bend that way. (add to this yesterday’s equally creepy child experience of little unblinking girls bleating at us in Paris Baguette—seriously, what is going on?)

Also, random moments/Korean observations (“Koreanisms”) from the last couple months/entire time I’ve been here:

 Teacher lunch. After a river of Korean wine (Makgeolli- milky and drunk out of bowls) – my former Head Teacher asks me to join his table. I must down a shot of hard liquor before entering into conversation. I thought only males were asked to do this. Maybe I’m special. They are impressed that I didn’t choke (as am I). Inebriated, Mr. Park confers with another Head Teacher and they ask me in drunken, extremely broken English if I will join their 3rd grade teacher trip (I teach 1st grade: the high school freshmen). They say they are going to Laos and would love for me to join. While I am honored and would absolutely love to go to Laos, somehow being accompanied by a dozen ajoshis (older Korean men) just…yeah, it wouldn’t work out. I wonder how I can exit the scene unnoticed and without offending anyone. Fortunately, an even more inebriated Head Teacher descends upon us, yelling, holding up an unopened Makgeolli bottle and everyone starts cheering. I slip out through the back.

 While teaching my lesson on travel, I found out that Korean students are taught that there are 6 continents, not 7. They combine North and South America into one super continent: America.

 My shoe size puts me just outside the range of availability at most Korean shoe stores. I wear a size 9 and a 1/2 in the U.S. – here that translates into size 255, a.k.a. “SORRY”, “250 ONLY” or “NO”. Size 250 is usually the largest available.

 Our cinco de Mayo is Korea’s Children’s Day. No school! Also, no Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, but = Parents Day.

 After roughly 2 years of having an insufficient portable music device, I bought a Korean mp4 player. Cowon S-9 mp4 with an AMOLED screen and it is *awesome*.

 America’s Funniest Home Videos and Steven Seagal are constant fixtures on my Korean TV. If these are the most consistent representations of America, it’s no wonder my co-teacher tried to cut my tofu for me the first week I was here.




 I asked a co-teacher why most Koreans don’t like cats (I’ve yet to actually know 1 Korean who owns a cat as a pet). She said it is because Koreans believe cats can take revenge on you while you are sleeping.
More to come.

My (more or less) established plan for my post-Korea future: Contract ends early September—I hope to travel around America and Canada from Sept-Dec, visiting friends and family, then will return to NYC come January when I (hope to) start graduate school for social work.. This could all be dashed if I decide to instead:

1. get ‘real’ teaching certification, move to Saudi Arabia or the UAE, live like a nun and save $30-50,000. AND I could legitimately buy a burkini.



2. become a Russian governess and follow my filthy rich Moscow family around the world, all the while teaching some spoiled Russian kid how to engage in proper American discussions, like talking about Gossip Girl.

3. buy tickets for the Trans-Siberian railway and just never get off the train

4. go back to Vietnam and hobo around the country, spending less than a $1 a day

5. couch surf around the world and pretend it’s for some higher purpose other than delaying real life
All these avenues would ultimately enable me to continue this abstracted, unreal reality I’ve felt alternately blessed/doomed to occupy these past 8 months. Four more to go. Less than, really. Will I make it?

Whatever happens, knowing I will be returning to a world that inhabits the people I’ve missed so dearly since being over here—that alone will make these last few months seem less interminable. That and kimchi mandu. And Pizza School.



4.12.2010

Vietnam, finally.


--

Da Lat, Vietnam.


Unidentified female, mid-20s, presumably American, was found late last night in the surrounding mountain roads just outside of Da Lat. It appears she was riding a white motorbike when she drove off the road on one of the many hairpin turns.

Local investigators report that there was no identification found on the body, but that the storage unit on the bike, most likely containing her belongings, came off during the fall. Police are scavenging the area for the unit and any possible leads as to the woman’s identity.

--

It was in those few moments before going over that she remembered the blind masseuse’s face. It was the face of a generation left to its own devices and torn apart from Agent Orange; a face she’d seen earlier that week at the War Remnants Museum and in this case, the face of a blind woman selling her wares for all she could: her hands and at 50,000d an hour, roughly $3 american.

“IT IS 2:22PM”


The young woman remembered laying down on the table hesitantly, not sure if she should disrobe. The blind masseuse clamored over, felt the young woman’s clothing and slapped her rear sharply and quickly. The young woman learned within an instant that there would be no awkward fumblings around English and Vietnamese, only fumblings through that sometimes forgotten universal language: body.

This wasn’t a planned visit- she’d gone off course in her search for a Saigon movie theatre that played English-speaking films and while flipping through her Lonely Planet realized that the closest possibility to her was the Ho Chi Minh City Blind Association. The prices seemed exploitative, but then so did everything in Saigon- even when adjusting for foreigner charges.

“IT IS 2:27PM”

They made her lock up her things in a safe and handed over the key on an elastic bracelet. The staff, all of them blind, save one woman with partial sight, noticed the pause and pointed to a pack of smaller than small Vietnamese children running down the halls. They put the bracelet on her wrist for her.

The young woman, having promised herself that she wouldn’t stare, she wouldn’t, couldn’t help but gaze into the masseuse’s eyes: a milky blue, forever staring off into unknown spaces. She then gaped at the masseuse’s real eyes: her hands. Small and strong, severely scarred.


“IT IS 2:32PM”

Small and strong, severely scarred. Just like the female vendors on Nha Trang beach, selling their necklaces and bracelets and fried Vietnamese treats to the pasty, mostly plump foreigners lining the shore, knowing not to come back to the young woman after her third and fourth refusals. Somewhat like the child vendors: small and strong, same necklaces, same bracelets, same fried treats, with the biggest, emptiest eyes the she had ever seen. Only kind of like the young Vietnamese women all over Vietnam, being escorted by old and ugly white men: small.

“IT IS 2:37PM”

She felt the masseuse tightly pinch at the bend in her arm, the place where they put needles in at the hospital and nearly fell off the table trying to swat the masseuse’s hands away. Her legs awkwardly hit the lineoleum, breaking her fall.


Not unlike how she half-fell off her seat on the bus from Nha Trang to Da Lat about every 3 minutes, at every turn thinking This would be The Last Turn. Hurtling down unfinished roads at silly speeds, the bus wheels rustling up streams of dust containing god-knows-what that would pass through the ‘closed’ windows and into her eyes, nose and mouth.


“IT IS 2:42PM”

The young woman felt as though she were stealing something, continuing to stare into the blind masseuse’s eyes like that, feeling every bit the sordid Western voyeur. Stealing the masseuse’s cataract-covered eyes, twisted (still strong) hands; her livelihood: paying her roughly 1/20th of what she would in Seoul or New York. If that.

Time to turn over. She felt relieved. No more opportunities to stare into the milky blue.


The masseuse worked on her neck, hard. Knuckles grinding. Elbows digging. Searing pain, but the young woman suffered through it, afraid that if she moved her neck would snap. And then she entered into a space so calm and fluid she wondered if her neck really had.


A flood of snapshots. Sharp and sun-drenched, unrelenting.

DEAD DOGS on Mui Ne beach. Stiff, legs in air. Flies swarming. Footprints of heavy foreigners making figure-eights around the bodies.


SILENT SALAMANDERS, not cockroaches, climbing on every hotel wall. Fast, soundless, greener than green.

FAST-FOOTED Saigon children, dark brown, white teeth, stained skin. Holding out baseball caps, following her, taunting her. Moving onto the next foreign crowd.

SILKY SHAKES, orange, red, yellow. Pure, clean, cold. Refreshing dragonfruit, passionfruit, mango, banana. Endless variety. Less than a dollar.


CRUMBLING CONCRETE sidewalks, steaming, searing. Sucking the life out of her at peak sunny hours. Chasing her into the rare air-conditioned café.


SOAKED SHIRTS of the xe om drivers. Holding onto their backs, instant familiarity of old Vietnamese men and one woman. Feeling them sweating out whole days on these bikes, foreigner fare = lucky day. They all helped her with her helmet.


“IT IS 3:21PM.”


The blind masseuse takes off her talking watch. The young woman slips her last $20 into her hands. The masseuse feels the money and yells at her. The young woman leads the partially-sighted woman over to her, says nothing, puts the bill in her hands and lurches down the ridiculous red staircase the blind people must suffer down on each exit.


--


And then…

The OVERWHELMING OVERWHELMINGNESS of the Da Lat Highlands. The lush denseness and largeness of the scenery, feeling taken over, kidnapped by the beauty, at once: wishing she was sharing this moment with someone dear and wanting it to be a virgin land and she, the first and last visitor, having no one else contaminate the spectacle of this seemingly empty magical earth. Riding alone on twisting mountain roads for miles, trying to lean into the turns like how her father once told her many years ago.


She loses control of the bike on a sharp left turn. She quickly speeds to the edge of the cliff. Time slows down. She sees her family, her friends, memorable lovers and the blind masseuse’s face. It is sunny outside.


No one sees her go over.
--

3.24.2010

My Brain Is Dying

Ok, I know it’s been awhile and I have some very important things to write about, namely my experience in Vietnam and that whole ‘what I’m doing after Korea’ business…but I just couldn’t stand not talking about this for one minute longer.  Please don’t judge me, I actually think this is more important at the moment:

************************************

Some of you may have been wondering what Bob Ross has been up to lately.  Remember him?  He was the white guy with the huge afro who had that color palette surgically attached to his left hand on that old people’s channel you always skipped past on your way to Nickelodeon or ABC as a child growing up in the early 90s, wondering for a hazy half-second if people thought it was still acceptable to look like that.  I mean, a white guy with an afro?  A button-down shirt tucked into jeans? What??

Anyhow.  He actually died back in ’95 of lymphoma (thank you, Wikipedia, for depressing me with More Things I Didn’t Need to Know But Anxiously Looked Up Anyway).  But…these sneaky Koreans have somehow brought him back to life.

He’s now living inside my Korean TV, selling Qook & Show smartphones—and consequently killing my soul at every 30-second turn.  Here, watch for yourself. 


Also.

There’s this website that’s been consuuuming my life ever since I found out about it (thank you Day!) and if by some stroke of horrible luck, you don’t know about it— here you go.


I didn’t think I could connect post-mortem Korean-speaking Bob Ross to Barry Schwartz, but the wonders of the modern age have showed me up again. 

While watching this brilliant, inspiring, enlightening talk by Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice, I could not (and still can’t) get the theme song of that one sketch on MADtv out of my head.  Lowered Expectations. 

And no- the connection is not that this is something else I used to watch growing up in the 90s.   The connection is that I am currently living inside a Baudrillard novel (if he were to ever have written one) which caused me to watch the commercial in the first place.  Before I explain that,  here’s a short synopsis of that novel:

Young American woman living inside Asian technological epicenter, slowly but consistently losing her mind as she realizes with each new day that this is not real life.  Not really.  It is a representation of life.  An awe-inspiring concoction of explosive consumption consumption consumption of all-things-tech, all-things-image and all-things-emptiness.  Add a dash of Confucianism and a large helping of alcohol and you’ve got…KOREA: Shiny Simulacra and Sparkly Simulations, a novel by Jean Baudrillard.

It is because I live inside this Baudrillard novel that I choose to be mostly absent—mostly (trying to) sleep, exhausted by Nothingness…feeling compelled to let others fill up my mind, hence being consumed by TED…but it was after watching that Schwartz talk, that I became even more hyper-aware of the world around me, the illusion of happiness and choice and…etc.  And so—it was in the aftermath of all this (probably fake) hyper-awareness that I felt a strange pull toward my Korean TV, only to see a post-mortem-Korean-speaking Bob Ross  and…well, I just thought you all should know about it.

One more thing..  I just went to church and God (Oprah) just told me that Copenhagen is the happiest place on earth.  I want to go there. Maybe then I can get that theme song out of my head.

3.10.2010

Vietnam: Dying in the Rough...


all the usual disclaimers of my computer's limitations and bla bla bla...

This is what I captured on my 10-day excursion in south Vietnam, late Feburary 2010 (Saigon, Nha Trang, Da Lat, Mui Ne). Though I could never hope for pure elucidation of my thoughts and experiences onto film, this video captures a few moments of my time there.
*********
CCR "Run Through the Jungle"

Harry Nilsson "Everybody's Talkin'"
Her Majesty's Sound "Odd Phantasms in Unique Moments"

Jimi Hendrix "Hey Joe"
Boards of Canada "Left Side Drive"

2.11.2010

Up In the Air...

In less than four days now, I will be in Hong Kong for an overnight, before I arrive in Saigon for 9 days of (hopeful) bliss, reflection and discovery. It looks like I’ll be sticking to the southern end of the country, since the northern end is a bit cold and rainy right now (as my foreigner friends indicated upon their return from Vietnam a couple weeks ago.)


A friend of mine asked me what the purpose of my trip was. Is it to experience the food? For adventure? For the history? Honestly, I hadn’t really thought about it. I’m just kind of…going. Though, I’ve been thinking about it some more and I do think that my trip there will be instrumental, after all. I realized that when I return at the end of February, I will exactly be at my 6 month mark here. Which means…I’ll be leaving in 6 months. And…contrary to what I thought were cemented plans for what I’ll be doing by then…I’m still undecided. I’ve been giving some pretty serious thought to some pretty serious alternatives and hope that Vietnam will give me the insight needed to follow through with preparing for…well, not going back to NYC right away. That’s all I can say for now.
Oh also—there was a 5 second earthquake in the Gyeonggi Province (where I live) a couple days ago. It’s pretty telling that at the time I automatically assumed it was North Korea finally calling its own bluff(s) and then two seconds later, concluded it was just another annoying vegetable truck barreling down my street—well, a barrage of them anyhow (it was pretty damn loud). Nope, it was just an earthquake. Apparently there was also an earthquake in the Chicagoland area? Strange stuff…

Anyway. Maybe I’ll come back looking like Moses when he came down from the mountain, full of knowledge and awareness and an awesome Moses tan. Or I could come back full of red blisters and malaria, having accomplished nothing more than slowly dying in my Saigon hotel room (see: Apocalypse Now)…




I’ll let you know when I get back. Wish me luck!

1.31.2010

Isn’t that odd? Part I: Korea At School


In lieu of doing a post called: Boredom, Part II, I figured I’d try to write about something interesting— like, say, observations of Korean weirdness. I know I have mentioned a few things in the past (students staying at school until 10pm, seas of red electric crucifixes, the ridiculous presence of phonebooths in ‘the most wired place on earth’ and how Koreans actually use them, etc.). But, I’ve come up with a few new ones, namely: those things that I’ve grown so used to seeing everyday that I don’t notice them as completely and singularly, Korean, anymore. While beginning to jot these things down, I noticed that there’s a lot of them, so they will be condensed into sections, starting with Part I: At School, since this is, technically, where I spend most of my time.

Also, writing about such things allows for a list, which really saves me time on having to connect things in an eloquent way and…well, saves time on thinking. So, here goes!

l Everyone at my school (myself included), has been wearing a winter coat all day long since the cold weather started because Korean schools don’t currently find heating hallways as cost-effective . This has allowed for two subsequent observations: 1). Korean women collect winter coats. Some of my co-workers have a different coat for every other day of the week and others have a new coat for every day. They’re usually very cute, manicured-looking coats that don’t offer a lot of warmth. And 2)., the wearing of my coat has officially upped my status of looking ‘slightly homeless’ to ‘full-on homeless’ while at school, since 1). I can’t be bothered to work on looking presentable that early in the morning and 2). the added hobo coat just pushes me over into the full-on homeless category. My students still manage to take me seriously, some of the time, so if they’re fine with it…I’m not changing it. Also—it’s really comfy and warm!
l You can’t wear real shoes inside the school. It’s been suggested (mandated) that I only wear slippers while inside. But, being the renegade that I am, I’ve continued to wear my real shoes everyday- mainly because I don’t see the point of wearing slippers if I have to walk outside, on dirty pavement to get to the side of the school where the language lab is. Truly- teachers will walk around in fluffy animal slippers that have disgusting gray munj on the soles and still find the gall to stare at my very normal-looking brown boots as if I am committing some horrible foreigner crime.
l About once a week, someone will bring in treats to share with the other teachers in the teachers lounge. Most often, it is either a huge box of clementines or an assortment of rice cakes. It is considered rude to not partake, even if one isn’t hungry or doesn’t especially like eating the provided treat (granted, most of my friends don’t seem to mind them and admittedly they do look delectable, but I find Korean rice cakes to be excessively bland in taste, --imagine what raw biscuit dough must taste like).

(my friend Alex and I sizing up the rice cake spread in Insadong)
l There is no coffee-maker in the teachers lounge, rather a multitude of Maxim packets—instant coffee that consists of about 70% sugar and 30% coffee-like substance, for which it is normal to put into 2-sip Dixie cups and shoot like tequila.

l The other week, my co-teacher hooked up her furry slippers via USB to her laptop to warm them up. Provided, she wasn’t lying on the floor, but it still looked every bit ridiculous.

l Occasionally, random (sometimes vagabond) salesmen are allowed into the school to sell their wares. The first salesmen I encountered was selling socks and stared at me for about a minute, deciding whether or not to pursue the ask. He didn’t.
l Things that I observe my Korean students doing at school:
Between classes: They will inevitably be doing one of five things: furiously jumping rope in the hall (for exercise), practicing K-pop dance moves in front of the large mirrors on the stairwells, brushing their teeth in the bathrooms, eating dok boki (out of small Styrofoam cups) or ice cream cones – either from the vendor down the street or from the school’s snack shop or screaming (and I mean *screaming*) and running down the halls in large herds.

During class: intently examining their faces in their standard-issue little (though some are large) plastic mirrors about every five minutes, using what I can only describe as ‘face rolling tweezers’ as they say to “get small face”, i.e. to reduce the size of their jaws.
I tried to find an image of these things on google by typing ‘korean small face tool’, but feared failure when the first image to come up was a map detailing forest fires in North Korea and the second, a picture of what I guess to be a British band called The Small Faces. Further down the page however, appeared a quite intriguing picture of a Korean woman sitting in a plastic bowl and naturally, decided to do some investigation. It took me to a website called Digital Chosunilbo (English news about Korea) where they thoroughly detail the array of low-cost Korean aesthetic tools, among them what I had initially searched for, officially called a ‘face massage roller’.

What are you doing just sitting there doing nothing? If you moved your hands even once, you could make your face look smaller. “ (Available at GSWatsons for W11,500)

By the way, what I thought to be a Korean woman sitting in a large plastic bowl is actually a Korean woman sitting on a
‘pelvic correcting basin’:



This is not a basin that holds water. It closes the pelvis after it has expanded during pregnancy while lifting a droopy behind and straightening a crooked pelvis. The device offers much more stability than a sofa or a chair and welcomes rears of up to 100 cm in diameter. While reading or watching TV, any user can get the three daily sittings of 15 minutes out of the way. D&shop W29,800.”

That’s all I can gather up for right now, though I’m sure more Korean weirdness at school is bound to pop up in the remaining months…so be sure to stay tuned!

1.26.2010

On Boredom

You may recall that last week I wrote (complained) about how it’s really the lack of things in this country that’s tampering with my mental balance. I’m still appreciative of everything Korea’s given me and blablabla… -- but, as it turns out, unsurprisingly, I was mistaken. There is absolutely a presence at work here. It’s the overwhelming presence of the lack of things. Or, what you may know as… boredom.

I read a NYT book review the other day: ‘Our Boredom, Ourselves’, by Jennifer Schuessler and came away exultant. Exultant. “Boredom, like the modern novel, was born in the 18th century…” Alright, that wasn’t the line I wanted to point out, but isn’t it funny?

Ok, for real now: (Schuessler musing about Patricia Meyer Sparks’s Boredom: The Literary History of a State of Mind) : “[Spacks] describes it as a luxury — and a peril — born of the Industrial Revolution, reflecting the rise of individualism, leisure (especially female leisure) and the idea of happiness as a right and a daunting personal responsibility. “Boredom presents itself as a trivial emotion that can trivialize the world,” Spacks writes. “It implies an embracing sense of irritation and unease. It reflects a state of affairs in which the individual is assigned ever more importance and ever less power.”
(My Korean translation) Boredom: a luxury and a peril. Yes. A luxury that I have been granted this undeserved reserve of seemingly unlimited free time to muse about whatever the hell I want and still find extra time to grumble about said undeserved reserve. Still, underneath it all I do find it pretty luxurious that I can wallow around in my own cerebral muck and not have to constantly worry about making rent.

A peril. Amidst the indulgent wallowing, it will somehow seep into my consciousness that important things are happening in the world and that I am just passing my days, looking at the world through a foggy prism of watered-down interest and persistent reminders of that ‘daunting personal responsibility’: happiness. But, more on that later...

If it’s true what Schuessler suggests: “Boredom isn’t just good for your brain. It’s good for your soul”, then my cup (brain and soul) overfloweth with goodness (boredom). Along with my daily 10am yogurt delivery, my Korean life also boasts the prompt and ever-reliable on-the-hour delivery of freshly baked boredom. What will come from this bittersweet gift, I’ve yet to see. Whatever it is, I hope it’s meaningful (and not, in and of itself, boring).

As a sidenote: my work and home computers seem to have entered into a suicide pact by slow starvation (but really, they're just plain dying). And-- as a result have been messing up big-time, leaving me beyond frustrated with all of the work I’ve lost and how much time I spend watching pages load at the rate of a dying turtle. So I’ve written this (now much shorter) post about 4 times over now. So I apologize if it’s not that coherent, but I’m seriously sick of rewriting and editing—so you are warned—the next few posts might be entirely convoluted. So read at your own risk (of boredom, most likely)!

1.18.2010

Something that I hope lasts...

Most of you know that while Korea has been resplendently entertaining these last four months what with its never-ending parade of ethical and cultural surprises, I’ve been a pretty consistent naysayer, feeling every bit the sometimes lonely foreigner in a strange land. But…


Wait, before I go on. This post is not meant to catalogue Renee’s transition into Being A Happy Foreigner inKorea. Not by any means. Indeed, most mornings I still wake up looking like this:

(taken on New Years Day. I think the combination of the nauseous look on my face and the Smile Day shirt makes a pretty bold statement about how I’m starting out this new year. I think it says “I may be nauseous, but I’m still going to attempt a smile, damn it! Or at least attempt putting on a shirt that has the word ‘smile’ on it!”)

It’s come to my attention, however, that I’ve been complaining a lot. Last week I had a lovely dinner of shabu shabu with two of my closest friends here. It was a feast- I gorged myself on Korean pancakes, apple salad and fresher than fresh kimchi (yes, I honestly like the stuff.) We got to talking about the level of stress Korean life offers and how its affected us, individually. I heard myself say, “Yes—my stress level is much lower here, but the stress that is present is one made from the absence of things, not the presence.” Hazaah! The absence of things!

Could it be that the actual lack of something can wreak more psychological havoc than a real, existing presence of something? It seems it can, in Korea, for me.

That being said… whatever absences are currently wrecking my psychological wellbeing as a result of living here- its also afforded me the opportunity to have:

- Lovely, lovely friends. I will say there aren’t a lot of winners out here amongst the expat masses, but I’ve found several gems much to my overwhelming surprise

- more free time than I know what to do with

- a disposable income that allows me to take trips to places like Vietnam and Europe

- the opportunity to listen to more new music and watch even more movies than I did in the States

- to reflect in an unhurried state

I’m sure this passing ‘Korea doesn’t completely suck’ mood will soon drift into my bin of fickledom (and probably much too fast—it’s always the good moods that travel there the fastest.) – but for now I am weirdly content. For now. Certain amazing people will be leaving much too soon and will not allow me to have the ridiculously amazing weekend that I just had, but as someone wise told me once…perhaps I’d be better off actually enjoying the moment rather than dive into my all-too-frequent habit of being anticipatorily nostalgic.

I’m certainly going to work on it.