On Boredom

You may recall that last week I wrote (complained) about how it’s really the lack of things in this country that’s tampering with my mental balance. I’m still appreciative of everything Korea’s given me and blablabla… -- but, as it turns out, unsurprisingly, I was mistaken. There is absolutely a presence at work here. It’s the overwhelming presence of the lack of things. Or, what you may know as… boredom.

I read a NYT book review the other day: ‘Our Boredom, Ourselves’, by Jennifer Schuessler and came away exultant. Exultant. “Boredom, like the modern novel, was born in the 18th century…” Alright, that wasn’t the line I wanted to point out, but isn’t it funny?

Ok, for real now: (Schuessler musing about Patricia Meyer Sparks’s Boredom: The Literary History of a State of Mind) : “[Spacks] describes it as a luxury — and a peril — born of the Industrial Revolution, reflecting the rise of individualism, leisure (especially female leisure) and the idea of happiness as a right and a daunting personal responsibility. “Boredom presents itself as a trivial emotion that can trivialize the world,” Spacks writes. “It implies an embracing sense of irritation and unease. It reflects a state of affairs in which the individual is assigned ever more importance and ever less power.”

(My Korean translation) Boredom: a luxury and a peril. Yes. A luxury that I have been granted this undeserved reserve of seemingly unlimited free time to muse about whatever the hell I want and still find extra time to grumble about said undeserved reserve. Still, underneath it all I do find it pretty luxurious that I can wallow around in my own cerebral muck and not have to constantly worry about making rent.

A peril. Amidst the indulgent wallowing, it will somehow seep into my consciousness that important things are happening in the world and that I am just passing my days, looking at the world through a foggy prism of watered-down interest and persistent reminders of that ‘daunting personal responsibility’: happiness. But, more on that later...

If it’s true what Schuessler suggests: “Boredom isn’t just good for your brain. It’s good for your soul”, then my cup (brain and soul) overfloweth with goodness (boredom). Along with my daily 10am yogurt delivery, my Korean life also boasts the prompt and ever-reliable on-the-hour delivery of freshly baked boredom. What will come from this bittersweet gift, I’ve yet to see. Whatever it is, I hope it’s meaningful (and not, in and of itself, boring).

As a sidenote: my work and home computers seem to have entered into a suicide pact by slow starvation (but really, they're just plain dying). And-- as a result have been messing up big-time, leaving me beyond frustrated with all of the work I’ve lost and how much time I spend watching pages load at the rate of a dying turtle. So I’ve written this (now much shorter) post about 4 times over now. So I apologize if it’s not that coherent, but I’m seriously sick of rewriting and editing—so you are warned—the next few posts might be entirely convoluted. So read at your own risk (of boredom, most likely)!