Every week I hold a conversation class with any English teacher at my school who dares to come talk to me about such things as Love in America vs. Love in Korea, The Importance of Appearance in America vs. The Importance of Appearance in Korea and so on. All told, I have a pretty steady group of about 6 female teachers that manage to make it every week, with the new addition of Mr. Lee (pronounced Mr. E) as he fills in for Ms. Yoo as she attends her month-long training for learning how to say ‘personaliTy’ rather than ‘personalARy’. This isn’t meant as a slight—her English is rather good, she just has this weird tendency to horribly mispronounce random words.
A few weeks ago, I conducted a lesson on ‘Social Problems in Korea’. I didn’t expect the teachers to be thrilled about the lesson considering their strong dislike of talking about anything negative in regards to Korea, but I had gotten to a point where I felt I needed to address this topic. “Korea has social problems? What are you talking about??!” -- is how I imagined them responding. They were, however, surprisingly eager to discuss the topic, a couple of them, shockingly so.
When I brought up how Korea is #11 in the world in suicide, a hush fell over the group… Until the candid Ms. Kim spoke up and informed us all that two girls had slit their wrists in the bathroom a few weeks back. I was flabbergasted. She was talking about it in such a rote manner I had to remind myself what it was we were talking about. Two girls, no doubt, bombarded by the pressures of school and parents, crying for help. Ms. Kim also indicated that this is a recurring ‘problem’. I asked them all why they think this ‘problem’ exists in Korea. The first answer given (similar to the answer my fellow wannamin friend received) was “it’s because of the economy, I think.”
But it’s not. I can tell you right now that those girls didn’t find themselves bleeding in the bathroom because of how distraught they were about the couple percentage point increase on the unemployment rate. Most likely, they were beyond exhausted from attending school 75+ hours a week and had no idea how to deal with it or who to talk to. The mental healthcare system here is nonexistent—and to someone who deeply cares about mental health and its availability to those who need it, it is *scary* to me how pervasive its nonexistence affects the people here. I should not be having casual conversations about girls in bathrooms or the inconspicuous netting in between shopping mall floors or the new glass barriers put up all the time in Seoul subways. This should not be happening.
And yet—I look around and everyone seems contentedly distracted or at the very least, busy enough to not seem as affected as one might think, given the circumstances. That one Korea Herald guy was right: Korea and its citizens are the middle children of the world. Forever fighting for attention, forever resentful- but still, somehow, rather good at hiding their flaws and usually, successful.
Two girls had slit their wrists at your school and you hadn't heard about it until then? Did the parents not want it to be made public to save the girls emberrassment?
ReplyDeleteDo you happen to know if they're still alive?
-Ian
I remember seeing the netting every couple of floors inside the AK Plaza mall. When you say that South Korea is like the middle child, are you making a comparison to yourself? Do you know what can be done on a public service level to make mental health more of a priority in South Korea?
ReplyDeleteIan-- sorry, should've clarified: no, they're still alive-- they just attempted. Really just sounded like a cry for help. But yeah-- all of the teachers should've been notified about it, I could be teaching these girls and not even be aware that I should be sensitive around them. That could be very dangerous. :(
ReplyDeleteBrandon: no, I am not making a comparison to myself. Why-- do you see similar traits?
Re: proposal to make mental healthcare in SK a viable resource: I would suggest a *total transformation* in Korean thinking. More specifically, Koreans need to accept that they have faults and that it's ok and that it doesn't mean you're crazy or weak if you seek this kind of medical attention. Until that happens, no dice on improvement. And unfortunately, I don't see this happening for a long, long time. It would require a sea change.
I just know that you are a middle child, and so I thought that maybe you were saying that you were fighting for attention and resentful and good at hiding your flaws. I wasn't sure. I mean, you certainly are good at hiding your flaws. I'm not so sure about the other two items.
ReplyDeleteI know that total improvement would require an overhaul of basic Korean thought processes. But could you think of small practical steps that could lead Koreans in that direction?
I LOVE hearing about problems in other countries. Social ones in fact. Apparently there's a "Paris Syndrome" that Japanese tourists suffer from when their expectations of France don't meet up with all the allure presented by talk and media. So odd...
ReplyDeletebut on a side note, that 'sea of change' to modify Korea sounds like a hurdle and a half. It's a measly comparison, but there were these s. korean twins at my high school and they bombarded themselves w/ hw and were so tough on themselves, yet you could tell were always unfulfilled (in a bad way). just thought I'd throw that in there.
and look on my page to the response to ur comment ;)